


Truth Be Told

by Patogrrerach (D4v33dCh357nU7)



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 18:26:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18145808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/D4v33dCh357nU7/pseuds/Patogrrerach
Summary: When Hawk Moth sends an akuma to Lila while sleepwalking, he must track her down before her powers get out of hand.





	Truth Be Told

**Author's Note:**

> Let it be noted that in this universe roosters can lay eggs.

The lights were dimmed in the Agreste mansion. The swirling darkness was an expansive fog, licking and shrouding with its desolating tongue; yet a shadow wafted through the corridors in the heat of night.

“Master?” Nooroo asked meekly.

Gabriel Agreste pronounced a rumbling snore. He lumbered to the main hall and positioned himself before a large portrait.

“Ummm . . .” Nooroo floated toward Gabriel’s closed eyes, observing the lids’ light flutter, and wondered the best way to wake him. Preferably a way that didn’t result in——

Machinery whirred, and Gabriel was lowered into a damp recess below the mansion. Nooroo flew after him.

“U-um, master, we shouldn't be down here. I think you might be slee——”

Gabriel grumbled, “. . . dark wings . . . rise.”

“N-no wait!”

Nooroo was pulled into Gabriel's brooch with an abrupt force.

A whirl of butterflies streamed upwards, weaving a glimmering suit around his figure and disappearing as a thick mask encased his slumbering countenance. Hawk Moth snored loudly, and a spiral of metal unfurled across a large, patterned screen; its stream of light became a beacon, casting fluttering white specks across the room disconcertedly.

A white butterfly nested itself in Hawk Moth's palm, and he enclosed it with another hand.

“zzz . . . Volpina . . .” he murmured.

Dark substances secreted into his palms, transmuting the butterfly a deep purple as it absorbed the energy. Hawk Moth unclosed his palms, and the akuma flapped its wings discordantly. Its purple shade grew light and tinged; it bumbled in the air with sickly movements. The akuma was misshapen and deformed, yet its unhealthy flutter carried it out beyond the screen.

Hawk Moth snored contently for a few moments. His snores became garbles, and he experienced the jolt of awakening. “ _Bwah!_ ” he blurted. Hawk Moth flung himself on one foot and swung his alert gaze around each wall. His shocked and wide eyes calmed into a glare of reluctance, and he raised his hand to his head.

“Not again . . .”

* * *

Lila “Volpina” Rossi awoke to a glorious morning and to the shrill shriek of an alarm. She smacked her custom fox-alarm clock; it crashed against a wall and stopped beeping, and she grumbled.

What a day it would be.

A rooster crowed on a fence post visible through her window. Lila sleepily maneuvered to her door and stepped into the daylight. She grabbed the rooster and rattled it vigorously. Two eggs shot out.

In the kitchen, Lila cracked the eggs against a frying pan and watched them sizzle. She poured a cup of coffee from the pot, and took a sip, followed by a melancholy sigh. The night before she had dreamt of being akumatized by Hawk Moth and embarrassing Ladybug once and for all, the start of a regular day had been a sourish disappointment.

After she finished the omelette, Lila got dressed and ready for school. She stopped at the foot of her door, as she did every morning.

“I'm going to school!” she yelled. The sound of her call floated through the house. There was no response. “If I'm not back by four, I'm either dead or akumatized!” No response. “I love you, too!”

Lila opened the door and began her walk to school. It was only two miles, but it gave her enough time to think. _Somewhere out there some lucky fella is going to be akumatized. But how can I get the miraculous for Hawk Moth and eventually become his adopted daughter if he doesn't trust me?_

She rounded a corner and walked across the final swathe leading to school. As she approached the entrance, she was hailed by one of her classmates.

“Lila! Thank goodness you're here,” said Rose. She was carrying a large crate of onions. “Juleka and I are going to plant these onions behind the school and grow an onion tree, but I can't lift the box up these steps! Can you help me?”

Lila stared at the crate and considered her own predicament. _Oh no!_ she thought. _I want to help Rose, but I can't go near an onion because of my allergies!_

“I'm sorry, Rose,” Lila said, “but I can't help you because . . . I've sprained my wrist.” She jangled her wrist loosely for Rose to see. Rose looked disappointedly at the crate, and Lila felt the need to console her. “I'm sure you'll find someone else to help you, and your onion tree will be fantastic!” she assured.

(The air felt dry, and everybody's ears popped.)

With the utterance of those words, Marinette sprang from a hidden post. “AHA! I've got you now, Lila Rossi! Onions can't grow into trees, which means _you_ are a _liar_!”

Alya walked over to her raving best friend. “Marinette, stop hassling the new girl, girl.” Marinette fumed menacingly.

“Well, now that you're here,” Lila offered, “ you can help Rose with her onions.”

Marinette and Alya raised the crate from the ground and carried it up the stairs, but Lila could see Marinette sliding a finger slowly across her neck while mumbling threats. “I'll expose you one day, Lila . . .” she whispered.

As her friends departed, Lila felt an acute pain in her wrist. She touched it lightly and discovered it was sprained. _That's weird,_ she thought. _I don't remember injuring my hand. I must have sprained it during the walk._

* * *

Three inhabitants of the Agreste mansion were gathered in a dining room. The trio's silence flavored a feeling of solemnity.

“You're probably wondering why you're here,” announced Gabriel.

Nathalie and Nooroo shared a bemused glance.

“I work here, sir,” said Nathalie.

“And I'm here against my will.”

“You two are my most trusted advisers,” he continued, “and right now we have a crisis on our hands. An akuma has infected one of Paris’ civilians. Nooroo has informed me that civilian is our old friend Lila Rossi.”

He looked at Nooroo, who nodded. “I have tried recalling the akuma, but seems in my . . . _unconscious_ state I had lost all connection with it.”

“So you can't control it because you were sleepwalking.”

Gabriel bit his lip. “Yes, Nathalie, that's one way of putting it.”

Nooroo added fearfully, “A rogue akuma could be dangerous.”

“I agree,” concurred Gabriel. “As long as one of my akuma is out there, I can't create another supervillain. Which is why I will gather intelligence on Lila's abilities and extract her akuma before she becomes a bigger problem.”

“But Gabriel Agreste hasn't been outside in years!” Nathalie exclaimed.

He smiled. “I won't be going as Gabriel Agreste . . .”

* * *

That twinkling, sunny bulb in the sky was clotted in front of Collège Françoise Dupont by a large onion tree. The tree was a dull gray with a bulky stalk, and small onions budded like florets upon its stems.

Lila appreciated its enchanting beauty as she and her class awed before it. Marinette was especially aghast. “I . . . I don't believe it. An onion tree. Here,” she murmured.

Rose and Juleka skipped around the tree's circumference with pride. “All we did was plant the onions,” Rose said. Her glee was uncontainable; even Juleka was displayed an elated grin. “We never thought it would grow so quickly!”

“I knew you could do it!” chimed Lila. “All you had to do was believe in yourselves!!”

“It looks like a cauliflower,” observed Alya.

Adrien said, admiringly, “It's one of the wonders of nature . . .”

Nino stepped to face the tree. He gazed at it with consideration before speaking; and a wind of cherry blossoms fluttered around him and danced amid his words.

_A delicate tree:_

_Like the pendulous onion,_

_It dangles its joy._

 

“I have looked into the heart of this tree, and the universe looked back. To initiate soul contact, the tree and I will now bump fists.”

Nino bumped the tree with his fist, and a single onion dropped into his hand. The class paused to applaud lightly, reverently celebrating the profundity of the scenario.

Lila watched happily as her classmates spent the afternoon with the tree. Alix and Kim had climbed up the branch to pick onions, Nathaniel had sketched the trunk, and Marinette cried in a corner. Lila was happy to see her friends and schoolmates jocund, but her attention was diverted by a nearby and hushed accosting: “ _Pssst_. Lila! Over here!”

Lila turned to her right and perceived a familiar masked face, whispering from a bush one yard away.

“Hawk Moth?” she asked. “What are you doing here?”

“Lila, there's some really important supervillain business. We need to leave, and it can't wait.”

“But Hawk Moth, everybody's having such a good time. Rose planted this really cool onion tree, and——”

“Kid, you know there's no such thing as an ‘onion tree,’ right?” _Is that her power? To make trees?_ he thought. _Could be worse._ “Now you should come with me before——”

“Heyyyyyy,” scrutinized Mm. Bustier, who had noticed a face in a shrub whispering to one of her students, “aren't you that ‘super-terrorist’ or something?”

“Uh, n-no, Mm. B-bustier,” said Lila hastily, “this is, um, our foreign exchange student!”

(The air felt dry, and everybody's ears popped.)

Hawk Moth slowly unsheathed his sword from his cane as he watched Mm. Bustier's countenance undergo a series of shifts and emotions. Surprisingly, her face lit up with recognition.

“Of course! The exchange student!” she declared. “Let's get you out of that bush; class is about to begin!”

Hawk Moth crawled out of the bush as Mm. Bustier summoned the class. He walked in tune with the group of students, studying their unfazed countenances. He was twice the size of every one of them and garbed in magical regalia, and no one looked twice at him. _Okayyyy . . . Maybe there’s something more to this power after all . . ._

In the classroom, Hawk Moth chose the seat next to Lila. He inspected the room and its students. _This is the perfect opportunity to study her powers._ “I think today’s class will be very . . . educational,” he slyly murmured.

“I know!” chimed Lila. “ Today Mm. Bustier will be teaching algebraic expressions!”

“. . . Right.”

The day _was_ educational; Hawk Moth spent a watchful eye on his protege, observing her school habits — and he picked up a thing or two on algebraic expressions. A particular observation subsisted blatantly in his mind: _Wow, that girl lies a LOT_. He had never realized how much Volpina depended on the untrue; she solved every problem in life with fabrication. She was the most dishonest person he had ever met, and he began to feel something akin to admiration at her felicity for deception.

He felt other things, too: the dry taste of the air, and the repeated feeling of his ears popping. And then the dawning clarity of realization:

Inevitably, each lie found its way into being true. The fake injuries, the false assertions, somehow they became real! How had no one else noticed it? Were they all blind?!

At the time, Lila was informing the class of her eccentric, billionaire uncle, who lived in Peru and was building the first rocket ship to Venus, when there was a knock on the door. The door opened, and Lila’s uncle walked in. “Lila, darling,” said her uncle — a mustached man in his forties, who somehow smuggled a heavy blunderbuss rifle onto school grounds — “you forgot your lunch at home.” He held up a plastic bag, which Lila gladly retrieved before sitting back down.

“I-I didn’t k-know you had an uncle . . .” muttered Hawk Moth, nonplussed, as her uncle left the room.

“Neither did I!” marveled Lila, perusing the plastic bag. “What a coincidence!”

 _Wow they are dumb. . . .Okay this is it_ , thought Hawk Moth; _this is your one shot. Lila’s got powers. You need powers to defeat Ladybug and Chat Noir. Just don’t. Mess this. Up._

Before Gabriel had a chance to speak, he heard the familiar voice of his son. “Wow Lila! Your uncle is so cool!” said Adrien, who had gone from his seat to greet Lila in conversation.

 _Hide!_ thought Hawk Moth. _There’s no telling if Adrien will recognize me! Of course he will, he’s your own son!_ Gabriel swiftly lifted a binder to cover his face, and looked forward anxiously.

“I wish my father were cool like that . . .” continued Adrien. “But I don’t think he even notices me.”

Lila was crestfallen. “Adrien, I know how that can feel. But don’t worry” — she adopted a cheerful tone — “I’m sure that your father is at home right now, thinking about you!”

“Thanks, Lila!” smiled Adrien. “. . . Hey, where'd your friend go?”

* * *

Gabriel Agreste fumed in his mansion. “I was so close, Nooroo! I need to get back out there before she uses her powers carelessly. No more distractions!”

Nooroo floated close to him. “Master, shouldn’t we be thinking of a way to de-akumatize her? Her powers are too uncontrollable.”

“I’ve never been closer to the miraculouses and my dream. I won’t throw away this chance.”

Nathalie stepped into the room nervously. “Sir, I think I might have, er, devised a way to m-mitigate your sleepwalking . . . That is to say that, um——”

“Spit it out, Nathalie!”

“I-I was just t-thinking, um, maybe it would help someone watched you. While you sleep. Me. I would do that. Not in a creepy way, of course! We wouldn’t be in the same bed or anything. Unless you’d be okay with that. Wait—no, that’s not what I meant. Maybe, um, _I’d_ be in the bed, and you’d be watching me. That, w-wait, that’s just as bad. I-it, um, what I mean is, er . . . I have drawings.”

Nathalie fumbled through a stack of pictures. “This would be you, and, uh, I would be here . . . I drew the bed in blue, and that’s my turtleneck. . . . Am I over-explaining?”

Gabriel groaned. _Why do I put up with these two?_ “I’ll keep that in consideration, Nathalie. Are there any other concerns?”

Nooroo spoke up. “Well, er, my dance rehearsal is coming up . . .”

“Yes, I’ll be there.”

“It’s _interpretive_ ,” Nooroo said proudly. He and Nathalie beamed.

“Let’s just go already.”

* * *

The door to the classroom burst open, yielding to a powerful kick.

“Oh, hey, the foreign exchange kid is back,” said a student.

“Silence, fool!” demanded Hawk Moth. “No more of this! The time is now! Ladybug and Chat Noir will tremble before our power!!”

Hawk Moth leapt to Lila’s seat. “Lila! Use your powers! Destroy our enemies and we can claim their miraculous!!”

“Whaaaat? That’s ridiculous,” said Lila. “ I think I would _know_ if I had powers.”

Marinette looked on, befuddled. “Should I, like, transform or something?” she whispered. Tikki shrugged.

“There is no time for this!” fumed Hawk Moth. “Okay? Can you just—You’re just gonna have to take my word on this one, okay?”

“Sorry, dude,” said Volpina with a shrug, “but I don’t have any powers.”

The air felt dry, and everybody's ears popped.

* * *

“What a nightmare. A complete nightmare. I had the power I needed at my fingertips, Nooroo! Ladybug and Chat Noir weren’t even there, and I still failed!”

“Them’s the breaks,” muttered Nooroo, as he looked into the open fridge. The yellow light of the refrigerator shone upon the darkness of the unlit room. The sky, too, was dark. “Did you want mint chocolate chip, or vanilla?”

“Anything is fine,” muttered Gabriel; his face was pallid and weary. “I just want to eat some ice cream and forget this ever happened.

“Just make sure you don’t get any on the brooch. That thing takes forever to clean . . .”

Nooroo’s words trailed off as footsteps approached the kitchen. He zipped behind Gabriel in time to avoid the sight of Adrien, who had walked into the kitchen with drowsy movements. Adrien snored.

“Adrien . . .?” Gabriel inspected his son. “He’s sleepwalking.”

“Gee, I wonder who he gets it from. . . . Want to draw on his face?”

Adrien murmured incoherently.

“Hang on, I think he’s saying something,” observed Gabriel.

“zzz . . . claws . . . out.”

There was a flash of light, and both Gabriel and Nooroo were agape to see Adrien replaced by a slumbering Chat Noir.

“Nooroo! Do you know what this means!! Chat Noir is my son! This is the perfect opportunity!”

“I don’t know if this is such a good thing . . .”

“Nonsense! I can get him on my side, and nothing will stop us!”

“zzz . . . cataclysm! . . .”

Chat Noir’s hand began to bubble.

“Um . . . is it just me, or is he walking towards us?” asked Nooroo uneasily.

“On second thought . . . I think we should . . . _Run!_ ”


End file.
